Let It Mellow, Randomness

• We made a pit-stop during a road trip a few weeks ago. We stopped at a "green" Meijer to use the restrooms. Everything was set up to conserve resources. Because it was green, I used the green rules: if it's yellow, let it mellow. I did my part. I was not the first.
• On a related note, potty training a toddler can be taxing. Even when he's been bluffing all day, you can't chance that this might be the one time he's serious. There's nothing like being in the middle of nowhere and hearing, "Pee please!" from the back seat with emphasis on the please.
• Modern weddings can get complicated can't they? We just attended a simple ceremony in an old converted church. The church was set up with two rows of pews. Tradition would say one half is for the bride's family, the other for the groom's. It doesn't really work that way when there have been one or more divorces on either, or both, sides. It can make things awkward on many different levels.
• We avoided taking our sons to the actual wedding ceremony. I never want to be the parent that has to stand up during such a sacred event and scurry out with an oblivious kid. That parent was still at this wedding, so we would have been unnecessary anyway.
• The boys proved that they're not ready for receptions anyway.
• The highlight of the entire wedding for Owen and Gage was tormenting the ants they found outside. Owen wanted to stomp them until I asked him whether he'd enjoy someone stomping him or not. We're still trying to explain empathy, life, and death to him. Gage kept picking the poor things up as if they were toys. He was then perplexed when they permanently stopped crawling around.
• My cousin Jeff is an awesome chef. He made all of the food for my aunt's wedding. The garlic broccoli was phenomenal.
• Using alcohol as a tool to resolve/reveal family/emotional matters, is like using a chainsaw to cut pancakes. You might achieve your goal, but the pieces left behind are often unrecognizable and inedible.
• All of our eye surgeries are over. Gage was surprisingly cooperative until we arrived in the pre-op area of the 600 building. It was as if he'd forgotten the first visit altogether until he saw the hospital gown. It wasn't too bad though. He was very bi-polar after his sedative. One moment he was happily playing the 'name that body part' game, the next he was telling me I was bad.
• I'm often the 'bad cop' parent. I've made my peace with it. I remove bandages, administer bad tasting medicine, and generally offer up the bad news more honestly.
• I need some kind of badge that identifies me as the type of guy that doesn't hunt, fish, fix cars, or watch sports. It would make for fewer awkward conversations with new acquaintances. It would likely make for fewer conversations altogether, but I'd rather be up front about it.
• I do love the woods. I love to hike. Fishing's not all bad, but it's often boring to me. I like the conversation that comes with it more than anything. I can fix a few things on a car. I can diagnose a few things that have popped up in my own vehicles over and over again. I can even change my own oil. I do like to attend sporting events. I just can't watch sports on television for more than about fifteen seconds. I would rather watch women play most sports.
• I enjoy talking about books I've read, music, and movies.
• I'm trying to resist plugging in a space heater today.
• Last week Owen learned not to climb the wrong way up slides, a lesson we've drilled into him for years. When I reminded him of this, he replied, "Yeah, but I did it while the teacher wasn't looking." He apparently learned the lesson when the other kids were caught.
• We've observed him, numerous times, tell his playmates that he can't do this or that because he's been taught that the particular action is bad, but when things like the slide lesson come up, I often wonder if I'm just one of the worst parents ever. It just seems like we're rarely getting through to him, and it's even more rare when he seems to fully understand the reasoning behind the lessons.
• On a brighter note, I think we're closer to the 99% potty trained zone with Gage.
• I took Owen to our local Halloween store yesterday. It's a yearly tradition. He didn't seem to be afraid of much last year, but he really didn't like the animatronics this time around. He asked me if they had a back door we could leave through so he didn't have to return to that area.
• He loves all of the spiders, bats, and creepy crawly bug merchandise out right now. He keeps asking if he can have the larger spider decorations for Christmas this year.

Early Random Weekend - It's like you're reading ahead

• We spent some time with my cousin, Jasen Friday night out at that huge Davison park with all the wood and castle-like shapes. I think it's called Ambercrombie Park or something. Anyway… it only has one entrance and exit for the largest play area. So, if you stake out that area, your kids can't escape without you knowing. The only bad thing that could happen to them would involve someone grabbing them away over the fence or the whole falling down thing.
• I kid.
• I'm going to be a bit judgmental here: Heidi works in Linden, and we enjoy the Summer Happening event they hold every year mainly because she walks in the parade. The kids dig it. They get tons of free candy. Linden has a bunch of churches crammed into that little town, and they all come out in force for the festivities. Some of them do a great job reaching out. Free water on a hot day - great idea! Free tiny copy of the New Testament that most people already have eighteen copies of hidden away in a drawer because they're too afraid to recycle a copy of the Bible - not so much.
• The one that really seemed strange to me this year was the church that had a horse-drawn covered wagon and all of its young ladies dressed in obvious quaker costumes (one of the girls was losing her costume a bit) while handing out flyers for their next series on leaving Egypt. I could understand if the series they were promoting had something to do with Little House on the Prairie times. That would make sense to me, but I don't think that's what was going on. I think they were trying to show that they promote values from a certain bygone era.
• You know. I love me some Little House on the Prairie. There's nothing like those bygone times when it was okay for men twice their age to approach your pre-teen daughters with offers of marriage. You could then whoop the dude once for good measure before finally realizing how beneficial it would be to marry her off. Hey, one less mouth to feed. (I do actually love that show)
• I personally just don't know of too many people that are looking for a church to help them make their lives more out of touch with reality. I know people want to instill better values than our world currently seems to promote, but I don't think going to the other end of the spectrum is what most people have in mind. Too many of us have seen the movie, Footloose, and we don't want to give Kevin Bacon any more dancing opportunities.
• Maybe I was breathing too much car exhaust. Maybe it was just a gimmick to accommodate the covered wagon.
• The couponing continues. It wasn't as impressive this week, but we didn't have as many coupons saved up. Our bill went from $90 down to $30. It's still better for our budget.
• We went out with a few new friends this weekend. I think I did okay reminding myself that these were not my usual friends. I don't know all of their interests yet. I successfully avoided launching into some of the more typical subjects that I discuss with my other friends. It was a good time, good people.
• You know how some people are alcoholics? I crave Manicotti from Italia Gardens that way. I think I have a problem. It calls to me…
• Genesee County readers, did you know that Showcase West is no longer owned by Showcase? It's now Rave West or some crazy thing. I suspect they still have armed security at night. They have combos and some refills available, but they're a little tight lipped about the pricing on such things until you actually order them. Very suspicious in my opinion. They do have good matinee pricing though.
• Our church had its first service in its permanent home Sunday. We even had cake. Wildwind's new home is 6020 Corunna Road in Flint Township. If you're looking for a transformative place, a place ripe with community, you should join us on Sunday mornings at 10:00 a.m. You can sit by me, if you actually know what I even look like. It's conveniently located near Fazoli's if that makes the deal even sweeter. Fazoli's has awesome bread sticks. wildwindchurch.com
• Fazoli's doesn't have manicotti. Mmmmm… Manicotti.

Weekend Randomness: March 29th

• My wife and I are both currently uninsured and sick. I guess this will be our benchmark to see how well we (or should I say our immune systems) can handle this set up.
• I've been scouring the internet for home remedies to sinus infections. Drinking apple cider vinegar isn't fun, but it does seem to give some relief.
• Tons of praise for Restaurant.com. If you're in any way on a budget but crave that sit down restaurant experience, they can save you a ton of money. If you're lucky enough to have the 80% discount code, even more so.
• We ate out at a Mexican restaurant Friday night for $14 including tip. Without the coupon we purchased from Restaurant.com the bill would have been about $39. A $25 gift certificate was only $2, we had to spend $35 at the restaurant.
• On a related note: Ground beef, guacamole, and shredded lettuce - one of my favorite trifectas.
• My wife has persuaded me to read a vampire novel. No. Not that one. It's the series that the True Blood HBO show is based on. In my defense, I love horror fiction anyway, and this series is a little less teeny bopper, but still pretty female-point-of-view oriented. I found it a bit uneven. It started really quirky and comedic, but didn't carry through with that. I still enjoyed it. It was still pretty well done, but it was no Anne Rice.
• Started another Brennan Manning book last night. I love that he doesn't sugar coat anything, and points out things many wouldn't even think to point out. Case in point, when talking about Jesus' lineage, he points out that there were prostitutes, people pretending to be prostitutes, and adultery that ended with murder. His point? God doesn't prefer Saints. Not a huge revelation. Just nice to see it brought up with less gloss.
• I've signed a few petitions lately (online). I love that my state representatives are at least acknowledging me, but I'm not too crazy about the extra attention I'm getting from "related" causes. I've always loved wolves, so I sign a petition to keep them protected, and a few weeks later I get three different wildlife groups emailing me asking for donations. Worse is the actual snail mail I get that's fear mongering. Who needs more fear? I don't need DVDs about nuclear war or the threats of terrorism. I haven't been in a coma for the past thirty years.
• I love that there's a movie called Hot Tub Time Machine, but there's no way it could live up to all the expectations my imagination comes up with based on the title alone.
• My wife started a new job today. Set in stone hours. Full-time. Eventual benefits available. Hopefully less stressful for her.
• We had a new accountant do our taxes this year at half the cost of our usual people. We signed a release form after paying them, but the lady working the check out desk mistakenly shoved the form in with our taxes. After waiting four weeks for our return, I decided to contact the IRS to see what the hold up was. They, of course, had no record of our taxes being filed. A quick call to the accountant cleared that up. Turns out that paranoid little voice in the back of my head was right this time.
• Riding around with me this weekend, Owen hears the lyric, "in a worn out suit and tie," and asks, "Why is the guy in this song telling us to die?" Even when you give them clean lyrics, you have to be concerned that they're getting the wrong message.
• The Pokemon cartoons are strange to me. My son likes to watch them, but I don't think he understands that they're based on a game of some sort. What's with all the I'm a winner, you're a loser talk. Seems like that could be giving our kids complexes.
• Higher education soon to follow.

Random Randomness from my Weekend: March 22

• We had a great day last week with high temps. I took the boys to Meijer for a few things and ended up taking an out-of-the-way on purpose detour on the way home. It was just too nice of a day. I rolled the windows down, turned the radio up a bit, and just enjoyed riding around with my boys in the fresh air.
• I think this thing over here is called a Squirtle, which seems highly inappropriate for a children's cartoon character.
• A few quick movie reviews:
• The Crazies remake was fantastic from a horror fan's point of view anyway. No offense to George Romero, but the original was… well it sucked.
• Finally caught Baby Mama. I want to have a bike accident.
• Alice in Wonderland was amazing. Don't get me wrong, Avatar was a great movie, but the 3D on Alice was a bit more impressive.
• Free passes to IMAX are awesome.
• Trailer Park of Terror had so much potential. I mean, come on, the title alone is a horror fan's dream come true. The creature effects were great, but they should have spent more on the script.
• On a very related note: forms of fiction that "quote" the Bible should really just quote the Bible instead of making up verses that don't even exist. The internet is full of free Bible resources. If you want a scarier verse, stick to the Old Testament. The New Testament is full of all that pesky hope and freedom stuff. If you want a non-sensical verse that talks about fire and brimstone, you'll be surprised to find the text lacking in most cases, especially if you keep things in context. Just sayin'.
• All last week, my kids didn't sleep in one single day. They were up before the sun. Sunday morning, I had to wake them up to get ready for church. They were both nightmares until they took naps. Gage cried going into church and when we had to leave. Owen even cried when it was time to go. Ugh.
• Owen is in another stage of bodily functions obsession. This one causing him to jump on the toilet every time he has the slightest flutter in his stomach. So, he's on the toilet like five times a day. He can't stop talking about digestion… and excretion.
• He's also convinced that he can find wild chipmunks, feed them, and make pets of them. Thanks a lot Chip and Dale.
• I watched an episode of The X-Files last week staring Giovanni Ribisi and a very skinny, young Jack Black. The soundtrack for the episode included Filter's Hey Man Nice Shot. The next episode had Peter Boyle playing a psychic that could see everyone's death. It was a grisly episode, but it was hilarious (on purpose) at the same time. I don't care what you say… BEST TELEVISION SHOW EVER! (Season 3 if anyone was interested)
• March has way too many birthdays in it for us. We've finally got our mothers' out of the way. April is full of fathers' birthdays.
• I love my wife.

Random Randomness from the weekend: March 8th

• No offense to those who loved the movie, but Transformers 2 took the Razzie award for worst movie of 2009. That really doesn't surprise me. I couldn't even stand to watch the entire thing.
• Fell down last week. Yes, I'm only 35, and yes it was inside the house. I know. Klutz. Grapefruit sized bruises really hurt too.
• Bill Maher doesn't like religious (spiritual, however you want to put it) folks, and his comments often piss me off. I also agree with him on a lot of other points. I think tomorrow's post will have something to do with that.
• Really connecting with our new(er) small group. Loving that. Perhaps there'll be a post about that later this week too. I'm sure some of you are going, "What's a small group?"
• I can't wait for the whole Day Light Savings Spring Ahead to get here. My youngest gets up with the sun. I've been trying to block out the sun from our home for a few weeks now.
• Am I the only person on the planet the enjoyed Terminator Salvation?
• I know it wasn't as "epic" as the first one, which was really only epic for its time. To be honest, the second one was okay, and the third one… well… that was just one long car chase wasn't it?
• I loved that they just computer generated Arnold in the movie. So, they don't even have to pay actors anymore. They should just get them to sign some sort of likeness licensing clause when they star in the original film. If it becomes a hit, they can just CGI them in the sequels. No more hundred million dollar contracts.
• Where the Wild Things Are was a great movie. Like a lot of critics said, it wasn't really for kids, but for the kid in all of us. If you look for the symbolism, it really was good.
• There goes Buckley again with his symbolism.
• Brennan Manning setting some of my wrong-thinking right. God doesn't need me to do anything. Like the Bible says, what does God need with cows and goats and graphic artists? Okay, I threw in the graphic artists. In other words, the things God inspires me to do aren't for His benefit, but for my own and those I hopefully help. Perhaps this line of thinking will get me out of my funk.
• Owen yesterday: "The good guys throw the bad robots into the sun where they get hot and dead."
• He's been asking about the concept of death lately. Hard territory to cover, including the, "You and Mama won't ever get dead right?"
• I know he's four years old, but I really don't want to cover too much of the subject. I'm not ready for his innocence to take such a hit.
• Nothing unites little boys like rubber lizards.
• Texas Hold'Em Poker.
• Nuff Said.
• It's Gary Gnu.

Randomness Inspired by My Weekend - March 1st

• If you discover a director that you like, you might want to wikipedia each of their movies before renting them. Specifically look for the phrase "wanted his/her name left off of the movie."
• On a related note: Don't watch Cabin Fever 2. Ti West is a horror genius, but movie companies can really mess up a movie with reshoots and focus groups.
• Had a Date Day with the wife yesterday. We went to see Dear John.
• On another related note: In a youthful act of rebellion, I burned my Man Card years ago. It makes life easier in some ways. Whenever I can't fix something around the house - Hey, no Man Card.
• Never tell a teenaged girl refilling your popcorn that you want extra butter. They tend to misunderstand that you're not completely looking to have a heart attack before age 40.
• Trying to convince a two year old that V is not X.
• Gage is saying "Hi" now… every time he looks at you.
• We discovered Arrested Development last week. I remember watching the pilot episode when it first hit TV years ago. I didn't like it then. The same thing happened with Scrubs. Now I love both shows.
• I highly recommend reading anything by Brennan Manning. He's not saying anything new. He's just saying it in a way you rarely hear. Be warned, some people don't like what he has to say.
• I'm reading my first Tony Jones book. I hear some people don't like what he has to say either.
• Do you see a trend?
• I like authors that can point out some unnoticed aspect of a story that I've read or heard fifty times before, totally missing such little tidbits. It's humbling and exciting all in one.
• I'm finding that tickling works as a good deterrent to whining in small children. I wonder if it would work in adults.

Randomness Inspired by My Weekend

• If you're a newer parent, my wish for you is this: May your children learn the hard lesson of vomiting early. Inexperienced children with stomach disorders is not a fun or clean situation.
• Monthly poker with the boys rarely has much to do with poker.
• 'Someday You'll Find Her, Charlie Brown' should have been titled 'You're a Stalker Now, Charlie Brown.'
• I've often been confused about Peppermint Patty, whether she's a boy or a girl. I know she's supposed to be a girl, but… there are moments where I pause.
• Further parenting advice: If you have a child that isn't yet potty trained and you're running low on baby wipes, don't think for a second that using toilet paper will be an acceptable solution. Toddlers have a sixth sense about many things. If you're out of wipes, a chemical reaction inside your child's digestive track will be triggered causing the resulting diaper fill to be larger than the diaper can hold, somewhat loose, and at the same time super sticky to everything concerned. Toilet paper, though it works on normal human beings, will not work on toddlers.
• Other things children have a sixth sense about: Your need to use the bathroom, have "special alone time" with your spouse, important paperwork you need to concentrate on, and phone conversations that shouldn't be interrupted.
• We're not a Superbowl type of family. We typically try to get a sitter on those Sundays so we can enjoy mostly empty restaurants and movie theaters. This year we settled for Barney and X-Files DVDs.
• We missed church due to a sick child and the resulting lack of sleep. I tried to enjoy a Sunday morning news variety show, but a huge portion of their content was focused on football. I'm pretty sure their usual audience doesn't follow much football. I don't usually watch the political talking heads that follow either, but they too were talking football instead of politicians. Isn't this what they call schlepping for ratings?
• If you have one sick kid but cook the usual number of pancakes on a Sunday morning, you will end up eating something hobbits refer to as "second breakfast." You'll usually end up skipping lunch too.
• Gage still refuses to call me Papa (which is what Owen has always called me) or any other variation of Dad, Father, or Daddy. He does make quite an effort to say french fries and McDonald's. Sitting alone with him on the couch yesterday, everyone else napping, he points out the window at our car and says, "Ah-onaldssss," which means McDonald's. At first, I didn't really follow what he was saying, and every time I told him such he repeated his slurred word loudly. For about five minutes, I was laughing hysterically, which I really, really needed.