Movies, Insurance, Sweat, and Bee Rocks…

• No offense Summer, but I need me a strong dose of Spring before you make your sweaty debut. I have jackets to wear, and books to read outside. I don't want to have to install air conditioners yet.
• Owen is terrified enough of bees, and he's already seeing them everywhere. Okay. They're usually rocks. He has an overactive imagination.
• Love and Other Drugs. Ladies, a few questions: So… it's okay for a movie to have gratuitous nudity and sex as long as it's still technically a chick flick? Also… it's okay for the characters to be incredibly shallow as long as there's some romance and someone matures by the end?
• Insurance work has been an adventure so far.
• Cold calling potential clients was a difficult thing to start.
• I've talked to hundreds of answering machines. I should try to come up with something funny to say. Maybe that would get me a few call backs.
• Have you ever noticed that people that are very patriotic don't like anthems that aren't the National Anthem? I would think songs of unity, even if they're not specifically American, would still hold some interest.
• I'm going to miss Michael Scott on The Office. For me, that's an almost perfect weekly dose of comedy. It's so well done now, I'm hoping they can keep the show going without him.
• I saw an article the other day referring to the present musical age as the "Post-Nirvana Era." Do you get the impression that some music writers graduated high school in the early nineties and got stuck in their own musical era? I seem to remember purchasing quite a few albums between 1993-2011 that had no resemblance to grunge or the nineties in any way.
• "New Superman movie villain revealed!" … And it's the same villain that appeared in the first two eighties movies … snore … General Zod again? He's basically evil Superman with a beard.
• DC Comics movies continue to fail with their antagonists. Okay. The Batman franchise has been pretty good lately. They had a lot to make up for though. Let's not forget the Bat-nipples and Jimmy Carrey as the Riddler. Didn't Prince do the soundtrack for one of those movies too?
• If they ever make an Aquaman movie, expect the villains to be a whale and General Zod from the Superman movies.
• Watching Taxi Driver for the first time made me feel unstable. Not because I identified with the main character in any way. More of a, I feel more unstable for having witnessed him, kind of way.
• The ongoing controversy of hell and what it might be like can shine some light on what people believe about other aspects of faith. Those who seem to be having the greatest difficulty with Rob Bell or NT Wright or even C.S. Lewis also seem to have the opinion that Heaven is somewhere else, not accessible now. They seem to neglect the now aspects and focus on whether or not we can "get in" after death.
• I mean no disrespect by pointing this out. If anything, it offers me insight and hopefully understanding into a viewpoint I previously had none.
• As much of a mess as Sucker Punch turned out to be, I loved the quote at the end… "Who Honors those we love for the very life we live? Who sends monsters to kill us... and at the same time sings that we'll never die? Who teaches us what's real... and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live and what we'll die to defend? Who chains us... and who holds the key that can set us free? It's you. You have all the weapons you need. Now fight!"
• I think they could have fixed the movie pretty easily. I think I get what the director was going for. He just seems to have left a few pieces out. Maybe those pieces will be replaced in the director's cut.
• I did really dig the sound track.

A Thank You for My Wife

Christmas is much more to me than presents, but I wanted to use this post to thank my wife. Being unemployed limits most non-essential purchases on my part. So Christmas is also the one time of year (other than my birthday) where I might receive some of the things I wasn't able to purchase throughout the year.

My wife did an awesome job this year. I know it's hard for her. She hates getting a list from me. She'd rather come up with original, surprise treasures.

I've always been a collector. Some would correct that statement and say I'm a hoarder.

When I was eight years old, He-man toys hit the scene, followed shortly thereafter by the cartoon series. Both were firmly cemented into my childhood. Nothing makes me as effectively nostalgic as Masters of the Universe.

A few years back, Mattel announced an adult collector's line that is only available online for one day a month offering only one or two items per month. Little did they know, the one day time frame would shrink to around one hour due to demand. Most of these action figures sell out in about 45 minutes, and getting on Mattel's website during that time is a nightmare. Add in my before mentioned unemployment, and any hopes I had of collecting this new line quickly vanished.

Heidi stepped up and bought me two of the lynch pin characters for Christmas this year with He-man and Skeletor.

I also received the Wolfman remake on Blu-ray. As a fan of the original Universal films, I was skeptical when I heard they were remaking this one. I was surprised to find it was appropriately updated with effects, small story adjustments that made total sense, and the acting was spot on. The film stars Benicio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins.

I finally have a Joe Hill novel in my possession. Hill is a pen name. He didn't want his famous father's name to drive his career. I'm not so sure you can escape a name like Stephen King however, especially in the horror novel business.

I also have Stuff Christians Like, a funny look at stereotypical Christian behaviors.

Our parents and siblings went a bit overboard this year too. The best part about the special day was getting to spend time with everyone. No one had to work. We didn't rush from house to house. There was warmth and familiarity.

Horror Fans and the Holidays

There are tons of Holiday themed horror flicks out there, but few are actually worth watching. None work on both levels, though some of the holiday movies being produced today could easily qualify as horrifying (Santa Paws anyone?).

If the monster in a horror movie is a snowman, Jack Frost, or Santa Claus, prepare yourself for the silliest wastes of time you've ever encountered. Some folks are into that type of thing, movies that are fun to watch for their unintended laugh factor. The movie where Michael Keaton plays a deceased father that turns into a snowman enabling him to learn the value of his surviving son is scary in description alone.

If I had to recommend a few movies, I'd have to push the following:

1972's Tales from the Crypt features a young Joan Collins in its first segment. She plays a wife and mother who gets away with the perfect crime… in a way. This might make you think twice about teaching your kids about Santa Claus or teaching them how to open doors and windows.

The original Black Christmas from 1974 is a perfect horror movie. Pre-dating the slasher onslaught of the eighties, the film avoids most of Hollywood's trappings and delivers a film that's not afraid to leave a bit of mystery in its mayhem. It's also a great 'who done it.' More holiday chill than cheer and full of seventies Christmas decorations and fashions. Avoid the 2006 remake at all costs. They attempt to take all of the mystery away in a very, very lame way.

Let the Right One In isn't exactly a holiday themed film. I caught it in the summer of 2009 at my local Art Institute. The beautiful Winter cinematography plunges you into the film's stark setting perfectly. If you haven't caught this one yet, wait for the rumored upcoming DVD re-release with the original subtitles. They add a little nuance that might be lacking from the current DVD. Note the photo of the fire angel - ouch.

Movie Reviews

I’ve learned that one great way of dealing with stress is to occupy my mind with other things. Sometimes books are a great escape, but movies often work just as well. I’ve dived into movies the past few weeks.

SPOILER ALERT: These reviews contain spoilers and plot points. Read at your own discretion.

Dead Girl / Jennifer’s Body

Horror movies often symbolically deal with the trauma of growing up, specifically the teenaged years. These two movies easily fall into that category.

Dead Girl asks the disturbing question: How far would a teenaged boy, hopped up on hormones and inexperience, go to have sex with a woman out of his league? The most disturbing aspect being, these teenaged boys stumble upon a woman that is clearly undead but mostly healthy in appearance that has been restrained in an abandoned building. Tensions run high when one young man gives into temptation and the other resists. I don't think I need to go into detail here. Just let your imagination run wild and rest assured that most of what you can imagine was implied/off screen.

Jennifer’s Body approaches very similar territory from the female perspective. In this story, it’s the femme fatale breaking hearts and… necks. Beyond the subtext, this is a straight up, enjoyable horror movie. I’m not a fan of Megan Fox by any stretch, but she does a great job as the lead monster. I don’t quite undestand why so many horror fans shunned this one. It had a decent cast, a decent story, enough scare factor, and it wasn’t even a retread like most of the garbage out there recently.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

I really wanted to like this one. The costumes and production value are fantastic. It’s very artsy in points, very imaginitive, but it falls apart. It falls apart because Heath Ledger died half way through the movie. It was noble of the producers and director to try to save the movie. The movie deserved saving. It just couldn't be done.

The good doctor's Imaginarium offers up salvation or damnation. Those who enter see just how good they could be. They're given a glimpse of Heaven-like scenarios, and at the last second, they're tempted with very honest depictions of their old dirty habits. There's also a love triangle in there somewhere, and we find out that the Parnassus has been playing a dangerous game with the devil for ages.

Ledger’s performance was great. They recast his character using other well known actors and offer up a supernatural explanation. It actually makes sense to an extent, but it just doesn’t work. The story itself seems to drop off at that point. Maybe it’s just that it ends on such a negative, without the redemption you expect.

The Day the Earth Stood Still
2008 (remake)

I love the original 1951 movie, and the remake isn’t all that different. Keanu Reeves was a great choice as the unemotional Klaatu. This character in the original film was a little better defined, a little more likeable. He has a lot more interaction with the single mother/son in the original. He almost becomes a love interest to the female lead in that movie. We miss that here. In exchange for character development, we get special effects.

If I hadn’t seen the original, I might have found Reeves' character less enjoyable or understandable. So, I might be biased.

The motivation for the alien visit is also slightly different. The original was concerned with mankind’s invention of nuclear weapons and the history of warlike behavior among earthlings. Intelligent life forms on other planets feared that earthlings would someday declare war on the universe. They were willing to destroy Earth to protect themselves.

The modern version focused on our destruction of the environment and Earth’s impending demise at our hands. In this scenario, the other life forms weren’t concerned with their own welfare, but the welfare of Earth as a planet. In this scenario, the humans would have to be destroyed to save the planet.

I liked the remake. I liked the message it was sending. Over and over again, the humans kept saying, “Well, we know we need to change our ways, but we tend to only do that just before it’s too late.” Klaatu’s response, “You’ve got about five seconds until it’s too late.”

Up in the Air

What defines success for you? What makes you feel alive? Are those things the same? Should they be?

This movie asks a lot of questions about whether or not success in vocation is more important than having meaningful relationships with people.

Ryan Bingham (George Clooney) is a professional down sizer. He fires people for a living. There’s a lot of baggage attached to that, and he’s on the road 95% of the year. He defines success based on Frequent Flyer Miles. He has no friends, and he ignores his family. He doesn’t know much about love in any form.

Clooney is a great actor. It doesn’t matter what he does, how ridiculous his characters are supposed to be, he plays them straight (or perfectly crazy). His characters are always believable. I admire that.

My favorite part of the movie: Bingham asks a soon-to-be-groom with cold feet to think about his fondest memories. He then asks whether or not he was alone during those times or if there are other people involved. The answer of course being, life is better with other people in it.

Random Things from My Weekend - April 26th

• How to Train Your Dragon was a great, fun movie. We took Owen Sunday morning.
• I think every movie should be designed with 3D in mind even if it isn't shown in 3D. We saw the Dragon cartoon in 2D, and the angles and action were really great. You could tell it was supposed to be viewed in 3D.
• On our way to Babies 'R Us, Owen asked why we were going there. I said, "To shop for a new baby of course." I eventually had him convinced that we were just looking at new babies today, but we were considering trading Gage in. That's when my wife became disapproving.
• While Heidi was shopping Babies… I took the boys into the neighboring Toys 'R Us thinking that would keep them more entertained. Every time I go in there, which isn't very often, they have about 4 employees for every customer. How do they keep that up? Perhaps toys are just that profitable.
• Avatar is out on DVD, and it's making me hate my ancient, small, standard television even more.
• Celebrated my father-in-law's 50th birthday at Sharky's Saturday. I don't really understand why they have so much security there. Probably better that I don't understand.
• Owen stayed at my parents' house last week for a few days. As we were leaving he asked my parents for hugs and kisses. My dad explained that grandpas don't kiss. Owen asked, "Why? Do you bite like a dog?"
• Our church currently shares a building with another church. Not sure who, but someone brought in some Matchbox/Hot Wheels type jets to keep in the preschool room. All the boys wanted to take them home yesterday. Anyone know where you can buy such things? Walmart and Meijer were a no go. Maybe Toys 'R Us has a better selection.
• Reading Lord, Save Us from Your Followers by Dan Merchant. It was on the clearance wrack at FCS. It's fun, but each chapter is a totally different format.
• I'm getting really good at making homemade Guacamole.

Random Randomness from my Weekend: March 22

• We had a great day last week with high temps. I took the boys to Meijer for a few things and ended up taking an out-of-the-way on purpose detour on the way home. It was just too nice of a day. I rolled the windows down, turned the radio up a bit, and just enjoyed riding around with my boys in the fresh air.
• I think this thing over here is called a Squirtle, which seems highly inappropriate for a children's cartoon character.
• A few quick movie reviews:
• The Crazies remake was fantastic from a horror fan's point of view anyway. No offense to George Romero, but the original was… well it sucked.
• Finally caught Baby Mama. I want to have a bike accident.
• Alice in Wonderland was amazing. Don't get me wrong, Avatar was a great movie, but the 3D on Alice was a bit more impressive.
• Free passes to IMAX are awesome.
• Trailer Park of Terror had so much potential. I mean, come on, the title alone is a horror fan's dream come true. The creature effects were great, but they should have spent more on the script.
• On a very related note: forms of fiction that "quote" the Bible should really just quote the Bible instead of making up verses that don't even exist. The internet is full of free Bible resources. If you want a scarier verse, stick to the Old Testament. The New Testament is full of all that pesky hope and freedom stuff. If you want a non-sensical verse that talks about fire and brimstone, you'll be surprised to find the text lacking in most cases, especially if you keep things in context. Just sayin'.
• All last week, my kids didn't sleep in one single day. They were up before the sun. Sunday morning, I had to wake them up to get ready for church. They were both nightmares until they took naps. Gage cried going into church and when we had to leave. Owen even cried when it was time to go. Ugh.
• Owen is in another stage of bodily functions obsession. This one causing him to jump on the toilet every time he has the slightest flutter in his stomach. So, he's on the toilet like five times a day. He can't stop talking about digestion… and excretion.
• He's also convinced that he can find wild chipmunks, feed them, and make pets of them. Thanks a lot Chip and Dale.
• I watched an episode of The X-Files last week staring Giovanni Ribisi and a very skinny, young Jack Black. The soundtrack for the episode included Filter's Hey Man Nice Shot. The next episode had Peter Boyle playing a psychic that could see everyone's death. It was a grisly episode, but it was hilarious (on purpose) at the same time. I don't care what you say… BEST TELEVISION SHOW EVER! (Season 3 if anyone was interested)
• March has way too many birthdays in it for us. We've finally got our mothers' out of the way. April is full of fathers' birthdays.
• I love my wife.

Random Randomness from the weekend: March 15th

• When we were first married, my wife and I would lose things… a lot. I'm mainly talking about paper work, important documents. We just weren't organized. We'd misplace something (a tax form, a bill, a rebate check) at least once a month or more. We've gotten a lot better. We're down to about once a year, and it has much more to do with how hectic life can get than poor organization at this point.
• We misplaced this year's tax return. The federal and state forms were e-filed, so no biggie. We wanted to check something yesterday, and neither of us could remember what had happened to the packet. It wasn't in the "Taxes" folder in our filing cabinet. I hadn't sent in the city return yet. We panicked a bit. Searched for about an hour.
• We found them, and the truth started to take shape. I remember, two weeks ago, bringing the packet home and leaving it out so Heidi could see it. Shortly after she got home, we decided to leave the house for some reason, and we were in a hurry. Not wanting to leave the packet out in plain sight (burglar paranoia), I scooped up the packet and put it with a stack of unimportant mail in a more out of the way location. I could have taken the extra thirty seconds and put it in the "Taxes" folder, but that would have been out of character for me.
• Kind of a leftover from last week: Put the kids to bed as usual one night. An hour or so later we hear Gage kind of whimpering, whining. After a few minutes of this off and on, we both decide to investigate. Upon entering, we find him not in his bed, not in his brother's bed, so we try to find him based on the occasional noise he's making. I determine that he's somewhere in the closest corner of the dark room. We find him sitting in the cloth clothes hamper. The only sane explanation being that he climbed on top of the toy box and down into the hamper thinking that he was getting into his brother's bed. We still can't figure out how he didn't knock the entire thing over.
• Parties are fun. I don't care what you say.
• Dancing is not my thing. There may be lessons in my near future. My wife got way too much enjoyment out of that three minute time span for me to ignore it.
• Laura should be our church's cow bell player. Every church needs a cow bell.
• Law Abiding Citizen was a great idea for a movie, but it tanked toward the end. The director tries to flip things on you in the middle, make your sympathies pass from one side to the other. The problem is, you start the movie feeling strong feelings against that side of the conflict, and that faction of people never really have a transforming moment in the film. It's implied that they should or could, but it never seemed to actually happen. No matter how I feel about the original protagonist in the film and how shocking he gets, I never feel sympathy for the person he's trying to change. Can you tell I'm trying not to say too much?
• Sometimes when I'm in the grocery store, I start to think about all the things I'm picking up and the reasons behind them. Yesterday it made me realize how much I really care about my wife and kids, how every little decision is about trying to make life better or healthy for them. Yeah. I over think the grocery store.
• I really wish Mulder and Scully were still stopping evil on a weekly basis on my television screen. Watching full seasons of the X-Files for the first time. That show wasn't as sci-fi centric as I thought it was.
• I've been listening to Hank III (Hank Williams the 3rd), mainly his older stuff. I like the old country feel with the modern, gritty themes. Reminds me of Johnny Cash. I'm not really into his newer, heavy metal, country fusion stuff. I like heavy metal. I like some country, but I need them to keep a distance from one another.
• I love it when Meijer puts strange seafood on sale. By strange I mean new to me. I picked up muscles for the first time a few weeks ago. It's fun to try new things, expand the horizons a bit.
• My wife has me reading vampire fiction.
• No. Not the Twilight novels.
• I'm an Anne Rice fan from way back, so the whole glittering vampires thing is going to take me a while to get used to.
• On another note: I highly recommend Anne Rice's Jesus novels. Her knack for historical mood setting is unmatched.

Randomness Inspired by My Weekend

• One thing I won't miss about my children's early years: Their irrational fear of hair cuts.
• There's a great place out in Imlay City that cuts hair for $5.
• At one point yesterday my outside thermometer read 45˚. I had to shovel the driveway already this morning. I'm not sure I could live in a more predictable state.
• Moved Gage into a 'big boy bed.' We got tired of hearing him fall out of his old bed. Cribs that claim the ability to work as toddler beds aren't good ideas. Gage started crying Saturday night. Heidi went up to find him half way under the crib. He had fallen hours earlier, fallen back asleep, and then rolled - the wrong way.
• I had forgotten that 'Oh Crap! This might hurt' aspect of sledding.
• My cousin, Michelle lives about an hour away. She invited us out to her place for sledding Saturday. When we got there (Owen will kill me later in life for sharing this), he says, "That took so long to get here I have to go poop!"
• It was great to spend time with the extended family like that and see them enjoy the company of my kids so much. Kids have the power of joy. I wish I had that power.
• Favorite quote from the movie Appaloosa: "Life has a way of making the foreseeable that which never happens… and the unforeseeable that which your life becomes."
• Also, Renée Zellweger always ruins everything. Just look what she did to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise. Okay. Matthew McConaughey didn't help either. That was a scary movie for totally other reasons than the rest.
• The second Twilight movie was better than the first, but that's like saying that eating ice cream is better than a root canal. Ed Wood's creations were more movie-like than the original Twilight movie.
• Why is it that American remakes of foreign movies always lack the things that made those movies great? I know the answer! They have to make room for their Hollywood flourishes which often leads to cutting out the less formulaic, unique qualities for time purposes.
• To the horror fans out there: Quarantine was a fine horror movie. It disturbed me because I have an unnatural fear of rabies. Rec is the Spanish movie Quarantine was based on, and it's much closer to a horror masterpiece without any mention of the 'R' word.
• Our church, Wildwind Community Church is moving, getting their own building. They've always rented space. Ownership is exciting. Check out the website here: www.wildwindchurch.com
• Tiger Woods.
• Sorry, just wanted to jump on the band wagon.

Rubber Suits

• The movie 17 Again was surprisingly good. Not as teeny-bopper or chick flickish as I suspected it would be. Our local library has been a gold mine of great movies lately.
• My goal this week is to post at least five blog posts. Hold me to it people. Send me hate mail if I fail.
• We took the boys to the play area at a local Burger King Saturday night. Not exactly the romantic Valentine's dinner many would hope for, but infinitely memorable all the same.
• Gage climbed to the very top of the enclosed, twisty enclosure. He there refused to either go down the slide or climb back down. So, guess who had to crawl inside? Did I mention I'm somewhat claustrophobic? It didn't really bother me until after I decided to follow him down the tube slide. About half way down, when I realized how long the slide actually was and how dark and confining it had gotten, I suddenly couldn't breathe. Ahhh. Memories.
• I've heard the term Philistine way too often lately.
• My beautiful wife surprised the heck out of me this Valentine's Day by purchasing DVDs for my enjoyment. The only down side was, she grabbed one that I already received for Christmas. I returned the movie and bought her the next book in a series of books she's been reading.
• Because I'm not a total altruist, I also found a $5 double DVD set of Ultraman from the 1960's. I used to watch this show as a kid, rubber suited monsters fighting a rubber suited, robotic looking super hero. How cool is it that the Science Patrol is wearing space helmets and ties at the same time?
• The movie I had to return was Splinter, a great creature feature for anyone inclined to such things.
• The other movie she picked up was the new X-Files movie. It got horrible reviews, but I believe that had to do with the plot revolving around issues of God and faith. I loved it. I love the X-Files. I know it makes me a geek, and I'm not ashamed.
• Reading Brennan Manning for the first time. He's a great writer. He's given me a few things to think about.
• A hug from a friend can really turn a day around.

Random Thoughts

I've been sick lately. Sorry for not posting. Here's a few random things on my mind lately:

• Paper Heart with Michael Cera wasn't a bad movie, but it really wasn't overly funny, heart warming or thought provoking either.
• We bought a few products from the grocery store lately with advertisements for Beyonce's new tour: I AM… Sasha something or other. The thing is, the "I AM" part really stuck out and the rest was kind of lost. So it reads, "Beyonce's I AM," which on first glace seems rather blasphemous or at least Old Testament centered.
• I once worked with a guy that didn't believe that dinosaurs were ever real. At the time I was very atheistic and antagonistic, and he was a Christian. His theory was that scientists needed an excuse to fleece government grants, so they found elephant bones and re-arranged them to resemble giant lizards. He stated that, since they weren't mentioned in the Bible, they never really existed. As a Christian now, I find that to be a strange position. The Bible isn't primarily about the creation of everything from A to Z under the sun. It's about God interacting with humans. Dinosaurs don't really fit into that story. Including stories about dinosaurs in the Bible would be pointless. Then again, there are a handful of scriptures that refer to giant beasts. So…
• Some thoughts on salad: 15 years ago, if you'd told me I'd be eating a salad today, I'd have thought you were crazy. 5 years ago, if you'd told me the salad would be merely a mid-day snack, again, you'd be crazy. 1 year ago, if you'd told me I'd include green onions as my favorite ingredient, I'd say you were insane. Me and salad, we've come a long way.
• I still have an opening for a brother-in-law. Let me know if you're interested.
• I'm not real happy with our local malls (we have two). The economy is bad. Unemployment at an all time high. Malls? Not so popular anymore. Some would say dying off. But, they still feel the need to charge an arm and a leg for kids to get photos with Santa. I understand that you want and need to charge something, but $13 for a 5x7? That's outrageous, and they don't allow you to take your own photos. We're skipping the mall altogether. Lapeer's Chamber of Commerce hosts a Santa cabin that charges $5 for a 4x6 and all the digital photos you can snap yourself. For that price you get Santa and Mrs. Claus too! Malls can go the way of the dinosaur.
• The Flint Institute of Arts is showing Pontypool, a zombie movie starting tonight and running through Saturday. It's cheap. They tend to show films that don't get wide releases or marketing budgets.
• Mayor McCheese is awesome.

Feeling like I should be more random, but that's all I have today. I have to go finish up a bunch of design projects for Christmas. Happy Thursday people.