A Thank You for My Wife

Christmas is much more to me than presents, but I wanted to use this post to thank my wife. Being unemployed limits most non-essential purchases on my part. So Christmas is also the one time of year (other than my birthday) where I might receive some of the things I wasn't able to purchase throughout the year.

My wife did an awesome job this year. I know it's hard for her. She hates getting a list from me. She'd rather come up with original, surprise treasures.

I've always been a collector. Some would correct that statement and say I'm a hoarder.

When I was eight years old, He-man toys hit the scene, followed shortly thereafter by the cartoon series. Both were firmly cemented into my childhood. Nothing makes me as effectively nostalgic as Masters of the Universe.

A few years back, Mattel announced an adult collector's line that is only available online for one day a month offering only one or two items per month. Little did they know, the one day time frame would shrink to around one hour due to demand. Most of these action figures sell out in about 45 minutes, and getting on Mattel's website during that time is a nightmare. Add in my before mentioned unemployment, and any hopes I had of collecting this new line quickly vanished.

Heidi stepped up and bought me two of the lynch pin characters for Christmas this year with He-man and Skeletor.

I also received the Wolfman remake on Blu-ray. As a fan of the original Universal films, I was skeptical when I heard they were remaking this one. I was surprised to find it was appropriately updated with effects, small story adjustments that made total sense, and the acting was spot on. The film stars Benicio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins.

I finally have a Joe Hill novel in my possession. Hill is a pen name. He didn't want his famous father's name to drive his career. I'm not so sure you can escape a name like Stephen King however, especially in the horror novel business.

I also have Stuff Christians Like, a funny look at stereotypical Christian behaviors.

Our parents and siblings went a bit overboard this year too. The best part about the special day was getting to spend time with everyone. No one had to work. We didn't rush from house to house. There was warmth and familiarity.

Horror Fans and the Holidays

There are tons of Holiday themed horror flicks out there, but few are actually worth watching. None work on both levels, though some of the holiday movies being produced today could easily qualify as horrifying (Santa Paws anyone?).

If the monster in a horror movie is a snowman, Jack Frost, or Santa Claus, prepare yourself for the silliest wastes of time you've ever encountered. Some folks are into that type of thing, movies that are fun to watch for their unintended laugh factor. The movie where Michael Keaton plays a deceased father that turns into a snowman enabling him to learn the value of his surviving son is scary in description alone.

If I had to recommend a few movies, I'd have to push the following:

1972's Tales from the Crypt features a young Joan Collins in its first segment. She plays a wife and mother who gets away with the perfect crime… in a way. This might make you think twice about teaching your kids about Santa Claus or teaching them how to open doors and windows.

The original Black Christmas from 1974 is a perfect horror movie. Pre-dating the slasher onslaught of the eighties, the film avoids most of Hollywood's trappings and delivers a film that's not afraid to leave a bit of mystery in its mayhem. It's also a great 'who done it.' More holiday chill than cheer and full of seventies Christmas decorations and fashions. Avoid the 2006 remake at all costs. They attempt to take all of the mystery away in a very, very lame way.

Let the Right One In isn't exactly a holiday themed film. I caught it in the summer of 2009 at my local Art Institute. The beautiful Winter cinematography plunges you into the film's stark setting perfectly. If you haven't caught this one yet, wait for the rumored upcoming DVD re-release with the original subtitles. They add a little nuance that might be lacking from the current DVD. Note the photo of the fire angel - ouch.

Long Overdue Random Post

• I know. It's been a while. I've been studying.
• When Halloween drops, the holidays just seem to arrive faster and faster every year.
• What's going on with my eyebrows? I'm not even fully adjusted to all the hair growing where it shouldn't. Now, the hair that is supposed to be there is getting unruly.
• Victoria's Secret sells sweaters? Do they have a lot of holes in them? Strategic holes?
• Owen said to me one day that he wanted to be in the other morning Kindergarden/Early Fives class because there's a girl in that class that he likes. He doesn't know her name, but she has brown hair.
• On another day, he told me that he would be growing up soon, and then there would be two papas in our household. And when Gage gets older, there'll be three. I explained that he would likely get married and have children before we would consider him a "papa."
• "Well, who would I marry?," was his response. I explained he would likely 'like' a girl at some point. He said that he already likes a girl, but he also likes some boys but not in the same way. He then supposed he'd marry Kendal, a girl in his class.
• I think Toys 'R' Us should be the first store that allows you to checkout via a microchip in the back of your head. For a store filled with such fun things, their checkout lines always seem to dial up my aggravation level.
• We were in Genesee Valley Mall yesterday (the biggest, most popular mall in our immediate area). It wasn't very busy. There are a lot of empty stores there, and of the few that remain, fewer are very popular. Santa Claus was the biggest draw.
• I started thinking about twenty years ago. I was sixteen. Back then, it was a rare thing to visit the mall. We lived in Lapeer, and we might make it out to Genesee Valley once a year during the back-to-school season. Flint and Genesee County were pretty foreign to me, but my parents entrusted me with the car. I filled it with friends and a few cousins from out of town. I remember the mall being crazy. People were shoulder to shoulder in the hallways. The stores were full of things you couldn't find anywhere else.
• The mall used to be an event. Now, it's just sad.
• Trick or Treating on the 30th because it's a Saturday… lame.
• Chuck E. Cheese has really went down hill. I know they had an increase in violence a few years back when they decided to serve alcohol (by the way, WT?). They replaced/updated their animatronics with versions that look like they came from the sixties, which doesn't really make any sense. They're less cartoony than the old ones.
• Why don't fast food restaurants have recycling bins?
• I decided I wanted to be an artist in the first grade, Owen decided in Early Fives (with no input from me).
• "We're here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us." Charles Bukowski
• Gage calls Santa Claus, "Ho-Ho-Ho."
• Sometimes it's just Gage's timing that amazes us when it comes to his ever increasing vocabulary. While taking a vision test last week, he seems to get bored and simply answers, "I don't know." We've never heard him say the phrase prior. "No way" has also come up.
• I heard an interesting perspective on the parcel bombs that someone in Yemen tried to send our way. If the bombs had detonated, they'd likely kill 8-10 people. The entire country would have been in an uproar (which I'm not saying is in any way wrong), but on the other hand, we seem to lack a certain amount of outrage at the estimated 1500 homicides that occur in our country every year.
• There may be photos of me with cheerleaders somewhere out there. It really wasn't my intention.

Holidays: Missing/Changing the Point

It bothers me that we don't seem to truly celebrate holidays anymore as a country. A National Holiday used to mean that the overwhelming majority of citizens didn't have to go into work on that day. Maybe the majority still doesn't, but every year more and more businesses find (financial) reasons to stay open on holidays. This means more and more people, fellow citizens, have to leave their celebrations, families, days of rest to go into work.

I'll admit my sins up front. My family used to have a tradition of going to the movie theater on Thanksgiving evening. I always felt bad for the workers there, but it never stopped me from going. I think we're past the point where one or two people protesting would make much difference, but I still refuse to join in these days.

Best Buy announced this year that they would be available for customer technical support on Christmas Day. Christmas Day, until this year apparently, had been the untouchable day. Surely no one would disgrace this grand day by making employees work.

I remember how unheard of it was just a few short years ago for major businesses to be open on Thanksgiving. I remember holidays where we'd double check out gas tanks the day before because we knew finding an open gas station might be a problem the next day.

You wanna talk about slipper slopes? It's now widely accepted that you can go to special sales on Thanksgiving, and usually the sales start right around dinner time. Not only are employees working, but they're working during the prime time of the holiday - missing the entire point if you will. I guess they can have Thanksgiving breakfast with their kids.

I just don't see this ending well, especially for those of us without high ranking jobs. I wouldn't be surprised to find the majority of us working through portions of holidays in the near future.

No rest. No special days for family. No true celebration or appreciation for the things we once valued. The point of holidays seems to have changed. Consume. Produce. Work. Support the whole.

Perhaps we should change our name to Egypt and start electing Pharaohs.

Customer Service, or Lack Thereof…

Let me start by saying, I don't believe the customer is always right, but the customer is always left with either a positive or negative encounter. I studied Marketing while in college, and I have years of customers service in multiple industries.

I used to work for a newspaper company that held, what I thought were, high customer service standards. I don't know what their policy is now, but if a customer called with almost any problem with that day's edition, one of our employees would soon be in a car driving a replacement newspaper to the customer. That might seem drastic to some. One customer being happy was that important, even in cases where we knew the problem wasn't our fault. All complaints were addressed within 24 hours on regular business days.

Having worked in that industry, I also know that most big name inserts (coupons, Kmart, grocery store chains, etc…) are printed by the millions in most cases. Most newspapers are supplied with thousands of extras just in case there are mistakes made in any way. In the weeks following insert dates, if those extras aren't used, they're often, not always, shipped back to the suppliers for their use. Also, when non-subscription copies of the paper don't sell on their edition date, those copies are returned to the newspaper headquarters. Again, we're talking hundreds, if not thousands, of copies with inserts intact readily available for at least a week after the edition date.

I contacted three companies last week because I didn't receive all of my coupon inserts in Sunday's Detroit Free Press. I had read that most other customers in this area did get these inserts in the papers they purchased. I buy three copies every week specifically for the coupons, so the main value I was seeking from this publication was lost. I shared all of that information in all of my correspondence. I contacted The Free Press, Proctor and Gamble, and Red Plum on Monday. Because it was a regular business day, I honestly expected to hear back from all of them within a few hours.

That evening I received an email from the DFP. They were somewhat confused about my complaint about missing inserts, but they still wanted more of my personal information so they could try to set things right. I've heard that they've actually sent out missing inserts in the mail when this happens. Having contacted them with the same problem in the past, I have yet to have this happen for me. But, I was hopeful.

The next morning they sent me a response indicating that they were sorry that I was not satisfied, but they felt it wasn't their responsibility to make sure all delivery zones received all inserts. They couldn't tell me specifically, but they felt that their customers (Red Plum and P&G) had decided not to deliver those inserts to the entire Flint area. If they had made a definitive statement telling me that it was totally out of their hands, I think I would have felt better about their response.

I was disappointed. Having worked in the newspaper business, I know that in all likelihood they had access to copies of these inserts. If they didn't have left over stock, they would have received their overstocks back from retailers on Monday (the papers that didn't sell in stores). They could have at least offered to sell me those, if not outright sent them to me just to keep my customer satisfaction high. At least they had gotten back to me.

I was surprised on Friday to receive a response from P&G. They too were sorry I didn't get everything I was expecting. They didn't comment on whether or not they were responsible for not distributing the inserts to the entire Flint area. They had decided to send me one of the three missing copies of their insert, but they made it clear this was a one time thing. In the future, I'd be out of luck. Again, they had at least gotten back to me.

At this time, I still haven't been contacted by Red Plum's "customer service" department.

To be honest, I'm not sure which of these outcomes is more negative. I just keep thinking, they could have made this right with me very easily. They could have even suggested that I pay postage, and I would have been thrilled. Instead, I have one company that tells me I'm out of luck, another that tells me they're inconveniencing themselves to send me a third of what I paid for, and another that doesn't contact me at all. I find all of these responses perplexing. None of these outcomes is positive, and here I am, sharing my negative experiences with the world.

Joan Jett, Hank III, Glasses, Randomness

• The political ads are killing me. I have to change the channel. They just seem much more extreme this year, like they're not holding back the crazier ideas.
• Our church is covering a book entitled, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. We're not typically a church-wide, book-covering type of place, but right now our sermons and small groups are all centered around these ideas.
• One of the major themes involves learning to identify that part of you that usually has you concerned with what other people think. It's part of what the author calls a "false self." It's that part of you that gets anxious before interacting with certain people, wanting to have all the right answers and behaviors in order to impress. It's that part of you that doesn't really allow you to just relax and be yourself. I'm simplifying of course, but ever since getting into this idea, I've had that Joan Jett lyric playing in my head. "I don't give a damn 'bout my repu-ta-tion!" I can't seem to shake it. I really don't want to have to dig out Joan Jett CDs.
• She still puts on a great show however. Her new stuff isn't half bad.
• No. I'm not perpetually stuck in the 80's. I just went through a short phase a few years ago.
• Okay. I love my Cars greatest hits CD too and Jim Croce and The Cure…
• It is fun to attend Jett's shows and listen to the drunk, homophobic, old guys complain because they believe she's gay, suggesting she take a ride on their love train to "turn her around," and in the next breath, praise her for rockin' out. What would a concert be without drunk old guys?
• I recently went to see Hank III (Hank the third - Hank Williams Senior's grandson, Hank Williams Junior's son). My cousin, Jasen treated me to a ticket. Hank III has a diverse collection of albums. He started with an old country sound mixed with more modern, gritty themes, which I'm fond of. He has some albums that would more closely resemble modern hillbilly country - think rude and somewhat stereotypical. He also does country infused heavy metal.
• It was strange to see a mosh pit moving to the sound of fiddles. It was strange, but still appropriate.
• The crowd was just as diverse. Some people hated the older sounding stuff. They jeered at the instrumentals. I'm not really a fan of his metal sets, and some of the hillbilly stuff is just a bit too rude for me lately. It was great to see him live. He looks and sounds a lot like his grandfather.
• As an old concert veteran, I can tell you, when you see the guy wearing a confederate flag as a cape: That's the guy to avoid. Having witnessed it over and over again, the guy wearing a flag as a cape is most likely to continue his need for bold statements by punching innocent standersby in the face for little or no reason.
• The Machine Shop is a gem in this area.
• It's been a bad year for Halloween horror movies. I usually get myself into the spooky spirit by watching my old favorites. I decided instead to catch up on a few I'd missed. That's been a mistake. Apparently I missed them for good reason.
• I highly recommend the following modern gems: Splinter, Trick 'R Treat, The Mist, and The Crazies remake. Old favorites include: the original Halloween, Return of the Living Dead, Martin, Night of the Living Dead, and The Monster Squad.
• Did I mention that the political ads have been scary? One guy very openly stated that he wanted to get rid of the income tax. Sounds fine on the surface. Hey, less taxes, but isn't the income tax one of the few remaining mechanisms in place to somewhat level the field between rich and poor? If you earn more, you therefore contribute more toward running the country. Those who earn less keep more to survive on.
• He wants to replace income tax with a much higher tax on goods and services. They say this will initially cause most products to be priced so high that lower income families will struggle intensely, but "eventually the market will adjust itself" so $8 for a gallon of milk will just be common place.
• Owen's vocabulary is increasing by leaps and bounds. I think it's the glasses. He's also spelling words regularly.
• His glasses have had me down for a while. There, on his face, is a metaphorical reminder of all the bullying and torment I went through starting at his age. I'm just praying he escapes it, but more and more, he reminds me of myself.
• I chaperoned his first field trip a few weeks back. I was responsible for one other child. She just happened to be the girl he had mentioned having a little crush on. He was so shy. I had to coax him into talking to me that day. He seemed to be a bit of a loaner around the other kids too. I've got to think of a way to get him out of these habits.
• Gage has glasses too, but he doesn't need to wear his as often.
• Everyone is having babies again. I hope my wife doesn't get any ideas.

Hiking, 10th Anniversary, Autumn

• My wife and I have been married for 10 years as of last Thursday.
• We spent the afternoon cleaning our church together. It seemed very appropriate actually. We had dinner at a decent restaurant afterward to celebrate.
• Last year on our anniversary, we discovered that we enjoy hiking by taking a short vacation in Oscoda. Well, I love hiking. I think Heidi enjoys it to a lesser extent. We hiked a very cool trail there. We planned a short getaway again this year. How often do you get to celebrate an entire decade of marriage?
• No matter how much I look forward to time spent away from the kids, I miss them instantly whenever the realization hits me that there is no chance of seeing them in the next 12 to 24 hours. I love my kids, but sometimes I need down time. But I always, always, always miss them early on. It's like instant home sickness.
• Last year we had no trouble finding overnight accommodations, and Oscoda had a music festival going on. This year things were different. The cottages we hoped to stay in were only half open, and they were booked solid (despite what their website reported). Many of the other local resorts were closed for the season or because they were currently for sale.
• We drove on.
• Everywhere we went, it was like the trees were on fire with color. Last year we saw browns and sickly yellows. This year we were treated to vibrant reds, yellows, and oranges.
• Harrisville, just to the north, is a picturesque small town, especially in the fall. There are no big chain restaurants or stores. As you travel through the main section of town, every street has a sidewalk, and the view usually includes Lake Huron, a marina of some sort, and tons of yellow fall leaves.
• Two years in a row now, we've tried to stay at a bed and breakfast there. With the 'open' sign clearly displayed and the doors unlocked, we have yet to find the owner home. Another tenant told us that we could make arrangements to stay if we called the owner on her cellphone. She was camping.
• We ended up in Alpena.
• The next morning we drove to a nearby State park to try their hiking trail. The guidebook read, "As you come to the cemetery, take the unmarked road directly afterward." A lot of people wouldn't really recognize the path we were driving on as an actual road. The road cut into a thickly wooded area. It was pretty with the fall colors, but it was also dark and twisty. Everywhere you looked there was barbed wire, hunting lodge signs, private property declarations, and what looked like houses that should have been abandoned but weren't. The "road" was mostly sand. We drive a small Ford hatch back.
• I feared banjo music.
• When we reached the entrance to the State park, their road was ten times bigger and better.
• We didn't get to hike, though the area looked perfect. Michigan changed their laws last year. You can no longer deposit money on an unmanned site. You have to have a state pass displayed on your car before entering the park. Not having one, we moved on to the next State park (back south in Harrisville), which had a ranger on duty.
• We hiked a bit there, but the trail was partially paved.
• I enjoy trails that are marked, visible, but the idea of the trail being paved defeats the purpose for me. It's offensive. I want to barely be able to see sunlight through the thick trees. I want to glimpse areas that human feet have not touched on a regular basis. I want to fear the wildlife to a certain extent. I sincerely don't want to run into other human beings on the trail that day.
• I let Heidi choose the main trail this year. We headed back to Oscoda to check it out. When we arrived at the Lumbermen's Memorial my heart sank. There were tourists everywhere. There were children and little dogs in sweaters.
• But then I saw the view. This was a scenic spot that just happened to have a hiking trail attached. I don't think I've ever used this phrase before, and if I did, I didn't mean it, but this view took my breath away. We were at the top of an Au Sable river valley. The fall colors were out in force, and you could see for miles!
• I watched as person after person exclaimed in their own way how beautiful the view was. Heidi had chosen wisely.
• The park has a walkway that takes you down 272 steps through the woods, down the steep hill. The view along the way and at the bottom was great, but it paled in comparison to the view top side.
• We tried their hiking trail. It was sparse, kind of boring. The road was on one side. The river was on the other with less than a mile of wooded area in between. We could hear motor vehicles from time to time. Most of the wildlife was onto this fact, and had vacated.
• We stopped at two other scenic spots. One of them had another 300 step decent to some natural springs and water falls. It was beautiful too.
• We finished the trip with a quick stop at Tawas Point lighthouse.
• We didn't get in a lot of actual hiking, but we did get tons of exercise that day. We saw plenty of beautiful settings.
• I'm not an outdoorsman. I don't hunt or fish. I don't even particularly enjoy being outside. I never expected it even when I became curious about the activity, but hiking does something for my soul. Maybe it's just the Oscoda area. I don't know if it's Lake Huron, the waves, the sand, or the woods that we venture into. I love the idea that the wilderness hasn't been tampered with by humans. We haven't ruined it yet. I also like the smell of cedar, moss, and moldering leaves. I hate throwing my jacket in the wash afterward.
• We were only away for one night, but we packed the second day of the trip as full as we could. We didn't have any near encounters with wildlife like last year, but a few pheasants scared the crap out of us on one of the trails. I'll take it.
• I'm proud of us. We're way more adventurous than I thought we'd be ten years ago. Cemetery roads filled with backwoods gun nuts? Trails that lead into the deep, dark woods? The possibility of bears, wolves, coyotes, and fox? We've got a compass and some mace. I think we're moving forward.
• Most disturbing billboard of the week goes to: "Don't forget you breast friend." I know, we need to encourage mammograms, but…
• I'm also pretty sure I do have HMB.