The guy that got me into poker is now a pastor at our church. Sorry, couldn't resist starting with that line.
Seven years ago, I had no interest in poker. One night this friend called up and asked me to come over to watch a Texas Hold'Em poker tournament finish up on television. I was at a spot in my life where I was learning that expanding my horizons made life more abundant. The tournament was interesting. The next game my friend hosted, I attended and learned how to play. I was hooked.
I know. Poker, even Texas Hold'Em, is a form of gambling. Depending on how you play, money is exchanged. However, the way I've always played, no one can lose more or less than $5. We call it a buy-in. The entry fee buys you a set number of chips, the same set everyone starts with. At the end of the game, some people walk away with prizes, usually a portion of the entry fees collected. So, basically, you're only gambling symbolic chips. The chips themselves have no real value. Let's be honest, $5 is less than the cost of a movie, and we usually supply enough food to count as dinner. It's cheap entertainment, and more importantly, it's an easy way to keep in touch with people.
It wasn't long after my first game when an uncle of mine suggested we start a monthly game with our family and friends. I was all in. In a normal year, I might see my extended family once around Christmas time, but that was even getting rare. At this point, there were family connections that just seemed lost. No one knew what was going on with anyone else most of the time unless it was huge news. Our first game was a success. It was fun. It quickly became a monthly thing.
For almost four years, we had a regular game with around nine or ten guys every month. We'd sometimes skip a month or two around Christmas or in the heat of Summer. I missed a few when Owen was born. Each month someone new would host. There were no rules about missing a game here or there. We'd always re-extend the invitations. Sometimes people bring friends. Sometimes it's like we have a core set of players.
We've never played very seriously. At the beginning of each game we tend to discuss a few things: What are the winners going to receive? Are there any situations we need to clarify to any new players? We call this "house rules" implying that whomever is hosting decides ultimately what the rules are.
We keep it simple. We have fun. If people get too serious, we might not be as quick to invite them back.
We try to keep it a guys only event, but a few ladies have played here and there. It's guy time mostly. There's food that isn't good for us. There's beer and smoking. We don't watch our language as much. Sometimes jokes are told, but the ladies are never that far away.
Now I see my family almost every month. I get to catch up with aunts and uncles that don't use the internet to communicate. I see my grandmother more often. I get to hear about my cousins' families more often. We're far from strangers anymore. All of this has also lead to more family gatherings. My kids now know some of my extended family.
Texas Hold'Em is gambling, but it's a weak form in my estimation. I've never lost more than $5. It's never acted as a gateway game to other forms of gambling. It's too controlled. We do act a little more rough around the edges when we play, but it's given us a lot more. It's given us renewed relationships that were otherwise dying. It's given us something to look forward to on a regular basis, and I don't believe it's just the game because we could play the game in any number of other places. Poker has brought us back together.
It seems like we lapsed for about six months, but we recently fell right back into the old habit. We recently celebrated our fifth year anniversary. This past Saturday my Uncle Jim hosted out in North Branch. We had twelve players. I came in fourth. It was a great time. It's good to feel that warmth of family so regularly. The secret, of course, isn't poker. It's just being purposeful with life. It's finding reasons to get together and value one another.
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