Saturday

I had a great day with the boys Saturday. Instead of cleaning the house for Sunday’s Poker Game/Diaper Party, I spent a lot of time with them. We played a few games (especialy Superhero Squad Memory) and watched a few cartoons together. They like the 1970’s Super Friends shows.

In the early afternoon, I took them to Halo Burger to play in the play area. We just ordered a few sodas.

It struck me, as the boys played together and with other kids, how lucky I was. Gage, who doesn’t resemble me in very noticeable ways, who could of imagined such a son? I love that about him, he’s not what I would have ever expected. He’s blonde. He runs, stops, does a little dance, and then runs some more. He’s too timid to climb too high up into the playscape. He’ll walk up to complete strangers, adult or child, give them a humble, goofy face to test the waters. He’s just as shy in some ways as Owen, but they’re different about it.

Owen will follow other kids around at a safe distance. If they never acknowledge him, he’s stayed far enough away not to be embarassed. If they eventually let him join in, and they often do, he’s good to go. In so many ways, he’s a younger version of me. I hope he can avoid some of the bumps and bruises along the way.

I was left feeling very lucky to be the father of such boys. It was nice to have that day.

As the boys played, an older woman came in with two grandkids and one of their friends. She almost immediately struck up a conversation with me. We talked about keeping the kids busy.

By that time, our kids were playing together.

She suggested Summer Bible Day Camps. I hadn’t thought of that.

She told me about moving to Michigan to help her son. She seemed generally happy about having so much time with her grandkids, but she also said she was lonely. I wish I had known of something to say. As I left, I thanked her, told her it was nice to meet her. She said she hoped we’d run into one another again, maybe at Bible Camp.

We’ve always found that these play areas are great places for meeting other people. You clearly already have things in common - kids.

The boys and I finished up our day with a quick stop at Walmart. We had a pizza for dinner with a Max and Ruby episode and a quick game of Pac-Man.

Random, March 7th Edition: Charlie Sheen, TV shows, Oatmeal…

• Why would The Great Gatsby movie need to be in 3D? When you over do something, it tends to reach it's life expectancy sooner.
• How many seasons of Dancing with the Stars are crammed into one year? I don't know the answer, but it's at least one too many and probably two more than you could pay me to watch.
• I often miss the days when I was less concerned with politics and the rest of the world.
• Does every generation have a Charlie Sheen? Cringe.
• I'd never watch Celebrity Apprentice, but if you could get Mel Gibson and Sheen on there… maybe I'd enjoy the commercials for the show.
• I don't watch Saturday Night Live faithfully, but I hope it never goes away. I think it's an important part of our culture.
• I do like Undercover Boss to a point. I like when they actually do things for their employees that are lasting. That's not always the case.
• I hate that the spam that shows up in my email is often directly related to email subjects I recently sent to friends. Even if I'm being watched by evil, mindless spam robot programs, I'm still being watched. I'm not sure what the male enhancement spams are in response to.
• I love my wife. I think I should mention that here sometimes. It's important. Let's see if she reads these.
• Facebook, to me, is an opportunity. I've reconnected and stayed connected with many people that I otherwise would have remained disconnected from them. I recently heard a doctor say that people on Facebook need to get a real life. Real life without such an opportunistic tool would have less love, friendship, and communication if I didn't utitlize Facebook.
• The suggested heart healthy, daily serving size of oatmeal is larger than my stomach appreciates.
• The new McDonald's oatmeal is controversial right now because of its high sugar content. It also has oatmeal and highly preservative filled fruit in it. Let's be honest. I was going to eat the sugar anyway. Isn't it better that the sugar is at least accompanied by something half way nutritious?
• To be more honest, McDonald's oatmeal isn't very tasty. Raisins ruin everything.
• Any comic junkie can tell you, DC comics panders to a younger crowd. They have separate lines of comics for adults only, but they've taken the stance that their books generally have to also appeal to kids even though the market is primarily adult. This makes their newer series of animated, straight to DVD movies perplexing. I can't let my kids watch them. They use mild but strong language, and the violence isn't as shadowy as you're likely to find in a comic book. Marvel has always done just the opposite.

A Million Miles…

You can buy Don's book here, at Amazon.

A Great Book Now in Paperback

What story are you telling? from Rhetorik Creative on Vimeo.

Getting Burned by a Sermon

Peter Rollins has this way of building you up to something emotionally. When he gives a talk, he leads you down a path, and you think you know where it's going. Part way through, you're often angry or uncomfortable with what he's saying. Then, at the end, you often realize you had no idea where you were headed at all. It all makes sense in hind-sight and the emotional reaction you had was all part of the experience.

He gave a talk last week at Mars Hill in Eastern Michigan. It's a perfect example of his style. I urge you to check it out. You can download an mp3 or subscribe to the podcasts of Mars Hill.

http://marshill.org/teaching/2011/02/20/pyro-theology/

You should know that he's from Belfast, Northern Ireland. When it sounds like he says "zed," he means Z. He's also a funny guy. As inflammatory as he can seem on the surface, I have yet to disagree with him, and I always enjoy the wild ride of emotion.

Some Thoughts on Parenting: Random

• Cartoon characters often teach bad lessons right along side the good lessons. Curious George should be a convicted felon ten times over. Animated ducks and frogs often steal, break into, and destroy other people's property, people that are rarely revealed. Is it any wonder empathy is a lost concept in our society?
• Kids like Spaghetti-O's. I think I would like them if they didn't smell that way when you first open a can. It's not that they taste bad. It's just, there's something strange in that sauce, the way it smells when it's cold. Maybe I watched Food Inc. a few too many times.
• Kids don't care about character development. Don't believe me? Rent one of the movies you loved a child. Not an Oscar winner, but one of the more ridiculous ones. See how well its held up for you. There's nothing worse than having your three year old fall in love with a plot-less, poorly animated, two-hour long, straight to video mess. My parents remember these as the Benji movies.
• Coloring books are just as expensive as toys these days. When I was a kid, my parents always tried to appease me with coloring books. They were cheap. Now they rival the price of action figures from $6-7.
• Parenting groups used to complain that cartoons and toy lines were too closely integrated. Now, the cartoons themselves are about games and toys. It's like they've broken the 4th wall, and no one cares. Yu-Gi-Oh! is a cartoon based on a card game where they actually use the game (playing it) as the plot of the show.
• I know this is cliche, but when you become a parent, sleep takes on limitations. For the most part, my kids sleep from around 9 p.m. to 7 or 8 a.m. I'm not complaining about that, but as a parent you give up the right to a complete night's sleep. On ANY night, I can be woken at any hour to address illnesses, bathroom needs, and/or nightmares. It's often the night you least suspect.
• Do I need to mention what this can do to your sex life? Interruptions?
• I live by the four hour sleep rule: If I get four hours of mostly uninterrupted sleep, I'm good.
• All kids are brats. Let me clarify. All kids are innocent brats. They don't know what they're doing. They don't know what consequences are, especially in social situations. At some point they learn to be purposeful brats or to monitor their own behavior. I think that's the distinction some non-parents miss. Not all kids are purposeful in their brat-i-tude. Most learn to act correctly after making mistakes and being shown the consequences.
• Kids are crazy eaters. One day they love cauliflower, the next it's like Kryptonite. Who can keep track of these crazy changes?
• My kids don't like ketchup. Not even a little. My kid brother used to eat it with a spoon as a main course. I don't know what to do with that. I guess I used to hate cheese.
• There are some positive sides to the strange eating habits of kids: I can cook hot dogs, grilled cheese, or make peanut butter sandwiches for any meal, and they're satisfied. I can add canned corn to any meal, and they'll at least eat something. They've actually fallen for the line, "Broccoli is like eating mini-trees."
• Also, pop is like the holy grail to them. I can tell them anything is pop, and it'll be gone in under thirty seconds. The title of candy has similar powers, but they've gotten wise when we try to label medicine as candy.
• To the parents that hate kids' meals that come with toys because they entice our children into eating unhealthy meals: Sometimes I need to have a night where I don't have to cook, a night where I know they're going to eat the entire meal even if it's not the best for them. Sometimes those little toys are so cool, we don't have to put up with inquiries about real toys for months. Sometimes it's very convenient that my kids eat a burger and then play for an hour on a conveniently located playscape in the same restaurant. Especially in the Winter, that might be more exercise than we can accommodate otherwise. I'm just saying, everything in moderation is still within my job description, and I think I've got it under control.

Embracing

At small group tonight, we covered part of Matthew 16. Jesus talks about embracing the suffering in life and dying to ourselves, becoming more selfless, less self centered.

Why embrace suffering? I think one of the main points is learning empathy for your fellow human beings. Nothing unites us like suffering.

On my way home I tuned into NPR. They were talking to an elderly woman. She is trying to survive on Social Security, Medicare, and Food Stamps. Her housing costs are higher than her Social Security earnings. The only food she has comes from her monthly food stamp allotment and what she can gather from a local food pantry. She’s behind on her rent. Medicare doesn’t cover copays, and neither can she.

She stated that purchasing a bar of soap would be a luxury most months. That hit home. We’ve been donating things like soap for almost a year now to local shelters. I always feel like it’s not enough, or that we’re flooding them with silly soap, but maybe not.

The interviewer went on to ask her about the current state of our country. You see, her parents had survived the Great Depression, and she remembers living through World War II, when times were likely tougher. She said, back then, people pulled together as communities. Those who had more, shared. It wasn’t perfect, but she’s not seeing that kind of thing now, not on such a wide scale, not with such selflessness.

Prodded further she shared that she believed we’ve undergone too wide of a disconnect between the ‘haves’ and ‘have nots’. She said we’re too afraid of one another. Neighbors don’t even check in on neighbors. Fear of so many things, terrorism, violence, money scams, holds us back from helping one another.

I couldn’t help but think, this was exactly what Jesus was talking about. We fear the suffering. As a friend of mine would say, we insulate ourselves, comfort our own lives.

Because we have not suffered along side the have-nots, we have a disconnect. We lose any empathy. We don’t want to see other people’s problems because we seem to think that trouble might be contagious.

I don’t think Jesus was necessarily saying that those that have plenty should give it all up so they can understand the poor. I think he was saying that, when trouble hits, learn from it. When it hits other people, come along side them, not just to help, but to learn and experience it. Learn to have that empathy so you’re not afraid but empowered to give when and what you can. I think empathy kills off some of that fear too. In its absense, love and community can grow. It would be nice to live in a world where a 50¢ bar of soap isn’t a luxury.